A New Kind of Life

Dear Family and Friends,

I know it has been a while, I have been trying to get my footing back, life without Bob and life in America today. It has been a journey that wasn’t expected, and I am still in adjusting to even the smallest things. Grief is a situation we all face and it will always be with me, and today, I am still in the heart of that feeling.

And at the same time, the country is becoming a disorienting place, a no confidence in justice, due process, safety, and we are all in this same unstable boat. Unity, banding together is our only choice, we are bigger than the sum of greed. Greed has power, cruelty, and yet through history, is not sustainable.

I have such a powerful family, filled with so much love and understanding. My friends are just as supportive and loving, giving me time and balancing love with grace. You have been such amazing support. I also found a grief therapist who listens, encourages and has given some amazing coping tools to live through the roughest of days. Overwhelm, indecision, lack of drive, lack of sleep, and a need to be alone has been at the heart of my continue need for therapy. My reality is becoming a place of change, and I will do whatever it takes to keep going, maybe it will be elsewhere, but survival it at the core of my actions these days.

My heart beats strong for my child, I live to be there for both of us, it keeps a light in the world for me daily. I am so proud of the strength and intelligence and capacity for love that beats in that special heart. It keeps me going watching the way life is unfolding, and I see a great future for my lovely kid.

Just recently, I was asked to participate at the Healdsburg Jazz Festival as an artist. Rena Charles is so wonderful and I was a participant in her outdoor gallery. This kind request broke open my creative life and I have produced earrings again for the first time since last October. If anything, it brought joy and an outburst that I had not experienced for eight months. It sparked a light I missed more that I realized. All that time away from creating art was another emptiness that feels like it is filling in again. So there is new jewelry on the site, finally! Many more in the works, just took some time to reingage in making art.

Two very special people, Elizabeth and Joshua have been angels in the background. They are requesting I build a large sculpture for their already beautiful sculpture garden. It is a work I had never considered and it is in progress finally. This is such a gift, to work so big and bold.

Thank you all for the wonderful cards, emails, phone calls and letters, your kindness was loved and needed at the times I was so very broken. I love you for that Love.

With that, the family at Santa Rosa Farmers Market and my sweet customers kept calling and writing, I came back last week. Unfortunately, the wind got the day, 20+ mile an hour winds stopped me from being there. But I am back there now, most weekends. It is the only place I think I can manage each week, fragility is a funny feeling, so I go as best as I can.

My love and gratitude for you, Denise